


Philosophical Debate

by RadAceFriend



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, Questions, characters are mentioned only, okay so I have no idea what tags are appropriate for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23733541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadAceFriend/pseuds/RadAceFriend
Summary: Some new questions are posed at a debate. Answers are not given.
Kudos: 2





	Philosophical Debate

There is a philosophical question that has not previously been a topic of hot debate that goes something like this:

_What do you 1 do when ten million angels and ten million demons2 each receive a memo from the Antichrist telling them that they are not allowed to go to war against each other?_

Proving that angels and demons are, as it were, from the same stock3, the Divine and Infernal Hosts react in much the same way. That is, they take the memo to their superior to ask them what it all means and their superior, who is also confused and getting worried about all these questions they're being asked that they don't know the answers to, announces that they are going to take this to their superior. This new superior is also unsure as what to do and getting many questions and this cycle continues until until the questions reach Upper and Lower Management4, none of whom had considered something like this happening.

In light of this, two vastly different conference rooms5 were set up and two management teams did some private panicking about what they were meant to do about these memos6.

Another question to put to the crowd:

_What does the top management of Heaven and Hell do when they collectively forget the Antichrist has free will and is, if raised right 7, essentially an eleven year old boy and eleven year old boys are not partial to doing what they're told if it's something they don't want to do._

In the case of this particular conference and much frenzied debate by Upper and Lower Management, the decision is to leave the Antichrist alone8 and instead pin the blame on the two traitors. Two executions are organised.

After these executions come and go, a third previously undebated question can be posed:

_What do you do when a demon of negligible rank and an angel demoted to Principality spontaneously develop a resistance to holy water and hellfire respectively and so refuse to die at their scheduled executions?_

Currently, the only thing their respective superiors have been able to figure out is dumbfounded confusion, giving way to panic of various degrees of civility9, and an agreement to leave the angel and demon alone on Earth until something more concrete can be decided upon.

I was going to ask if anyone wanted to ponder possible alternative answers to these questions, but since I'm being glared at by a good number of my esteemed colleagues, I'll let us go back to wondering about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

  
  


1\. You in the general sense that is. A bit of a more personalised way of asking what one should do in times of great confusion and general upheaval Back

2\. Minus one angel and one demon Back

3\. Before some either Fell, Leapt, Stumbled And Decided This Might As Well Happen Today, or Sauntered Vaguely Downwards Back

4\. That is the Archangels in Heaven and the Princes in Hell Back

5\. Vastly different in the sense that one is well lit and looks like very rich people sit in it talking about little of importance while the other has flickering lights, mould on the walls, and looks like someone put ten office cubicles together to concentrate their misery into one singular room. Otherwise they are both conference rooms. Each has a long table, a screen at the front for low quality video calls that have audio glitches right in the middle of important statements, coffee and tea not quite as good or hot as it should be, and uncomfortable chairs. Some things even Heaven can't change about conference rooms, and Crowley had taken the idea from humans and perfected it for misery in a misguided hope that an uncomfortable room would finish up meetings in time for him to pick up lunch Back

6\. The memos in question were individually addressed to the angel or demon they were meant for (because Adam's parents had taught him to be polite and succeeded when the person Adam was addressing wasn't R. P. Tyler), written on pink heart-shaped post-it notes (because Adam's sister had bought some the other week in preparation for the start of university and he'd decided that a heart was a good symbol for stopping a war), and signed 'the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness, or Adam for short' (because Adam wanted his name to be signed but hadn't entirely figured out how to turn off, or at least shorten, his celestial signature) Back

7\. Or raised wrong, as the case may be Back

8\. Because the Antichrist may not have the same power to warp reality that he did at the destined moment of the apocalypse, but he is still Prince of Earth and has power there. Furthermore, he and his human friends had defeated three of the four Horsepersons using grass and sticks and he had challenged Death and _Death_ was the one who had moved aside. No one was touching the Antichrist after that unless they had a longing to permanently meet their maker rather sooner than they might wish Back

9\. We're looking at you Hastur Back

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time working with HTML and footnotes so if something isn't working please tell me so I can try to fix it


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